There is a lot to be said about online dating. Once a terrible secret, it now seems like everybody knows somebody who has done it. It’s likely that you are just getting into online dating because you have a friend who found success with it. Or you’ve been at it for a while and are looking for an upper hand.
Either way, online dating is a subject that everyone likes to get help on. They want to know the right way to do it, along with the wrong way. The tips and tricks that will help you find that success that others are having that you aren’t getting.
You’re going to find a lot of information out there, either on a site like this, or in articles from magazines, blogs or even on television. “Top Ten Online Dating Tips”, “How to Go From Zero to Hero With Online Dating”, ” Three Ways to Fail at Online Dating”. There is a lot of information. Some of it will be noise, some of it is helpful.
There is one thing though that I believe to be true that never gets talked about. It’s not a golden online dating tip. It’s not a secret. I think it’s just common sense.
Here it is.
Take out a piece of paper, and write ‘online dating’ on it.
Now, if you used a pencil, erase the word ‘online’. Or, if you used a pen, just scribble it out.
Not done yet? I can wait.
All finished? What does it say now?
(Did I get my point across?)
Welcome to Online Dating
I believe a huge mistake that a lot of people make is when you put too much stock into the online-ness of online dating. You see it as this weird, foreign world. People get really worked up about it. In turn, they act differently than they normally would, present themselves in different ways, and often not on purpose.
That’s not to say that online dating isn’t ‘different’. Of course it is! There really hasn’t been anything like it before. Maybe back when my parents were dating, they had analog methods like classifieds in local newspapers. They even had dating profiles on VHS tapes. (My only experience with that are from Simpsons episodes from 15 years ago.)
Here’s the point: online dating is only one road on your travels. Online dating only exists up to the point where you meet your date in person. Right then and there, the online ceases to exist, and you’re doing the same kind of dating that our ancestors did centuries ago, minus the Starbucks coffee.
Online dating is the onramp that you need to navigate so you can get on the dating highway. In the grand scheme of things, that onramp is minimal compared to the hopefully long journey you can experience with your partner.
One of the most frustrating things I come across in my experience with online dating is when I’m met with apprehension. Not because of me, but because of how we’re meeting. I can understand how this can be weird for someone who is new to it, that is valid. It does come to a point where you need to take a step back, though, and remember why we are here in the first place. (On the online dating site, that is, not metaphysically. If I was a deeper person, maybe I could tie in that subject too. But if I was a deeper person, I’d be running a website that discusses the meaning of life.)
I really hate to see something that could potentially be magical (and potentially be a dud, let’s be honest here) get sidelined for something that is unnecessary.
Ultimately, if you’re able to differentiate where the online dating begins and where the real dating begins, then you are already on your way. And that is why I consider this to be the best online dating tip you can find.
Today’s Simple Online Dating Tip
Don’t get too caught up in this being ‘online’ dating. Your online dating site is just a tool to get you to the real thing. Once you do meet in person and develop a meaningful relationship, the fact that you met on the Internet isn’t going to mean anything. So why should it now?